If you follow me on Instagram, you know I have been blowing up your feed over the past week and a half with photos from the Haven Conference, a friend’s wedding, and other random photos documenting my ridiculously crazy life.
That I love.
Over these past couple of weeks, I’ve done a little evaluating of myself.
Here’s what I’ve come up with:
I cuss too much.
I kind of suck at fashion. I have to send photos of my clothes to the man of questionable honor to get his advice on what to wear.
I suck at makeup as well. I’m totally the girl buying the prepackaged eyeshadow colors that work with your eye color and tell you exactly where to place each color. Lipstick purchases are traumatizing. Brittany has gotten multiple texts asking “Can I pull off this shade of pink?”
Most would consider my parenting skills lacking – I’m most definitely not a granola mom.
If there is music, I will most likely make a fool of myself on the dance floor by breaking out a move from my middle school days or some Footloose-esque dance move.
Many would classify me as a redneck country girl.
I suck at loading the dishwasher and washing clothes – Grunt Labor has to pick up all the slack there.
Refined is the exact opposite of anything that would describe me.
I’d rather have a cheap beer than a glass of wine.
And if I do decide I want a glass of wine, I will buy whatever is cheapest.
I suck at emotional stuff – I don’t do tears in public if I can help it.
Even during July, I’m pale as a ghost. I slather on that sunscreen like nobody’s business.
At 23, I was already divorced.
My body will never again be what they were pre-circus.
I’m snarky sometimes. Ok, a lot.
I say what I think and if it doesn’t suit you, oh well.
Wow, I’m a real winner.
And as I thought about all these characteristics that make me who I am, characteristics that most would consider negative, I realized that I love every single one of those characteristics about me.
Yea, so I do cuss too much. My mouth totally needs a filter, but my mouth of a sailor reputation usually precedes me and it warns people what they’re in for. And don’t worry, I’m really trying hard to not cuss in front of the kid – she’s only said sh*t a couple times. I consider that a success.
Its ok that I suck at fashion and makeup. I would rather suck at those than be a person who only had her looks and no brain.
That previous comment was definitely one of those where I say what I think. Whoops, sorry.
Yes, my parenting skills are most definitely not stellar. I let her eat moon pies for lunch and color all over her bed. That’s ok – we are making memories that are so much more fun than eating granola bars and cleaning her bed with an organic solution that took me thirty minutes to mix up.
My dance moves are definitely a decade or two behind. All that really matters is that you had fun while making a total fool of yourself.
And really, I’m providing free entertainment – who doesn’t like that?
I will fully embrace my redneck country girl tendencies. As Grunt Labor put it, “When we met, I thought you could fight a bear and win.” Why yes, yes I
could can. And while at Haven, when Jamie was worried about some creeper, I quickly reassured her that I could have him on his ass in a minute flat.
No, I’m not great at all my housekeeping chores – but I’m blessed with a husband who picks up my slack without a single complaint.
Justin Timberlake may be bringing sexy back, but I’m bringing pale back. No skin cancer here yo.
Being “refined” just seems really boring to me. I would rather be that loud-mouthed girl taking off her friend’s garter with her teeth.
I’m saving a hell of a lot of money by buying the cheap beer.
Being divorced by 23 made me stronger and more brave than any other single event in my life – as well as provided me with a number of humorous stories.
That body I had before the kid made her Grey’s Anatomy worthy entrance, so what if I never get it back? I’d rather embrace the body God gave me, than exercise for hours on end and miss out on dance parties with the Circus.
I am embracing me.
Every bold, daring and potentially stupid move.
Every single bit of it – makes me who I am.
As Carrie Bradshaw said, “I say if you feel good with what you’re doing, let your freak flag fly.”
I’m crazy. I’m loud. I’m daring. I speak my mind. I’m probably obnoxious sometimes. I’m a rebel. I’m a southern girl and sometimes a redneck. I am madly in love with a guy who lets me call him Grunt Labor. I love Conway Twitty and Nelly. And Reba. And Footloose. I make absolutely no sense most of the time. I manage to get mascara all over me almost every time I use it. I’ll blaze a trail if I have to. I never realize I’ve had one too many Jack and cokes until I’ve had one too many. I’m too much too fast for many people.
I have no shame. I have no regrets.
I have a kick-ass story.
And you do too.
The real you in your stretchy pants, stained t-shirt and matted hair, holding your coffee mug trying to wake up while muttering obscenities under your breath – oh is that just me?
No, you know its you too.
The you who busts out some “Ice Ice Baby” while stuck in rush hour traffic.
The you who sticks her foot in her mouth more often than not. (Ok, that one may really be just me.)
Be a freak.
[Tweet “Be a freak.”]
Freaks have more fun.
All the following photos prove it.
If the bride says take me to the bar an hour before her wedding, you take her to the bar.
Selfies on the bed!
Back row: Shayna from The Woodgrain Cottage, Me, Sarah from Life on Virginia Street (who adored it when Jamie and I sang Sara Smile to her – not), Krista from The Happy Housie. Bottom row: Jamie from So Much Better with Age, April from House by Hoff
Oh no dear driver, all 19 of us will fit into this bus. It just may not be the legal route.
Selfie before we git a skitch hitched!
Thank you Jamie, my life is now complete.
If you think I’m funny, you must visit Karianne of Thistlewood Farms. I’ve got nothing on her.
When they are giving away banana trees, you ask no questions. You take the tree and run. Keep running past all the people giving you odd looks – they really just want to steal your tree.
They said to take your picture with the car. No further instructions were given.
Yea, so in the middle of the madness of the past two weeks, I was in the latest issue of RedBook. As soon as they see this post, they may never want to work with me again.
My favorite sidekick, Jamie.
Of course, we will put on hats and aprons to take a picture in hopes of winning something! We have no shame!
It’s always so easy to compare yourself to others.
Don’t do it.
Be your own freak.
[Tweet “Its always so easy to compare yourself to others. Don’t do it. Be yourself. Be your own freak.”]
It’s hard I know, but be a diamond.
Seriously y’all, if Dolly said it, its the holy grail. We should all live by it – no questions asked.
You can read more of my ridiculous stories here.
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