October came late this year.
Not October actually, but the leaves and the cool weather, and the feeling of freedom and new beginnings that accompany October.
Those came late…And I almost forgot.
But then I was driving down the road yesterday, looking at the leaves, shivering a bit even though the heat was on…and I remembered.
Seven Octobers Ago.
When the shit hit the fan.
And the bottom fell out.
And I was at a crossroads.
And I survived.
Because you’re stronger than shit and fans put together. Even if you didn’t know you were.
Seven Octobers ago, I was about to be divorced. At 23.
You don’t have to give me the sermon. I already know I shouldn’t have gotten married at 20. But you know something. I’m glad I did.
I’m glad I got married at 20. I’m glad I got divorced at 23. And I’m glad all the shit did hit the fan.
Because I learned more about myself that October than I ever have before.
1. I figured out what I wanted out of life.
Not what I thought I was supposed to want or what someone else told me to want. What I wanted.
So I went after it. For me. I finally did something for me.
And in the long run, it’s worked out pretty damn well.
2. It’s all on me.
People who say they will be there for you, won’t. Don’t count on anyone else except yourself. Even people who have seen you hurting for so long might just leave you in the dust. That’s ok. You don’t need them.
3. I’m so effing strong.
And when everyone does leave you. When everything you thought you knew is no more, you rise up, put your big girl panties on and carry on.
Because you were meant to live a life where you are happy.
I made some hard decisions seven Octobers ago. I’m sure I hurt some people’s feelings. I burned a hell of a lot of bridges. I was 100% unapologetically selfish. And that’s ok.
Because it was all meant to be.
So here’s to Octobers.
And young divorcees.
And new beginnings.
And being stronger than you ever knew possible.
I hope you are right where you’re meant to be.
If you’re not, speaking from experience, October is a great place to start.
P.S. That doesn’t mean I’m telling you to divorce your husband.
You know you don’t wanna miss any of this crazy.
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