As each of the grandkids were born, my Pap gave us a cow. Now, I should probably clarify what exactly this means. This does not mean that he gave us a cow as a pet and it was on a leash in our backyard and we went out and petted it anytime we wanted. Although…
Stories
Summer Sidenotes
When did life begin to move so fast? I would swear to you that just a year or two ago I had just turned 18 and had my whole life ahead of me – and it seemed like it had taken forever to get to that point. Then I blinked. All photos by Bev Key Photography….
Freak Show Friday: How to Raise a Kid with Personality
The Circus is turning five next month. The personality this kid has got on her is something else and nothing that I ever thought a five year old could possess. I’m already considering pre-checking myself into the local mental health hospital because if this continues and her personality grows as she grows, I don’t know how I’ll…
A 1989 Chevrolet Cheyenne Pickup Truck
I believe it was Rick Bragg who once said that Southerners date events in their lives by the car they were driving at the time. I believe this to be true. It was in a deep red Cadillac Sedan Deville that I got pulled over three times within one month for speeding. Whoever said Grannie…
Freak Show Friday: Things Southern Baptist Kids Say When They Grow Up
As you should know by now, I grew up in a small town. A very small southern town. At the time, I didn’t think so, but it really was a grand way to grow up. I grew up beside corn and cows. We had cable and as I grew up we slowly went from 17…
A True Southerner.
He sent me a text that said “Plenty” along with a photo of a gravestone, that had an empty row stretching past it. Earlier that day, we had buried my great aunt, the last of my grandfather’s siblings, in the cemetery that holds many a Johnson who have lived on that land for the past five…
Freak Show Friday: Did you put your college party panties on?
Last Tuesday night on a whim, Grunt and I decided to see if our babysitter was available for Saturday night. It had been far too long since we’d gone out. Mama and Daddy needed a break, a drink and conversation that didn’t revolve around Shimmer and Shine from the Nick Jr. channel. Lucky for us,…
Freak Show Friday: Quotes from Last Night | Volume Two
Instead of titling this post “Quotes from Last Night, Round Two” or “Part Two”, I went with “Volume Two.” I just felt like using the word volume made it seem more profound, more important. And these quotes are of the utmost importance and profoundness….<—-that might not be an actual word. If you missed the first…
Diggin’ for Treasure
I do not know how it got there. Someone once told me there used to be another house sitting below the hill on the property and perhaps the demolition of that house had something to do with it. I am not sure. I suppose it does not really matter how the treasure came to be buried…
Freak Show Friday: You might have been at our Christmas party if…
Last Saturday was the annual Christmas party at our house. Every year, although there was a three year hiatus when parenthood was really putting a strain on our social life, we hold a Christmas party. We have lots of food and booze, but the deal is you must bring a toy or other item for…
I like to think that comes from him.
There is a metal-clad shed with a large utility light at the very top peak of it that shines over the doorway in a small lot enclosed by a weathered wood fence. If you remove the piece of wood that holds the doors closed, you should be ready for them to swing out at you. …
Freak Show Friday: Quotes from Last Night
You’ve seen the Texts from Last Night thing, right? It’s a collection of texts that should have never been sent, but for our own entertainment, we’re so glad those people hit the send button. Our group doesn’t have those texts. Instead, throughout the night I keep a running list in my phone of fantastic things…
Thanks for being my people.
For a girl who thought she would live and die within the same county line markers she took her first step in, things sure have changed. It’s not lost on me that you guys play a huge factor in what my life has become. Without you, there would be no blog and most likely, I’d still be…
Freak Show Friday: The Yard Sale Chronicles
My friends and I have two or three yard sales a year. We’re starting to consider ourselves professionals. In fact, I even wrote about our best tips for yard sales in this post. Of course, one of the reasons our yard sales are so successful is because not only do we get entertainment from many…
8 Things Ally McBeal Taught Me
This post is sponsored by RAYOVAC®, however all opinions and admittance of binge-watching crazy gal Ally McBeal are 100% mine. While everyone else is binge watching Stranger Things I’m over here like, “Can I get some more Ally, please?” Sure, she’s crazy. The woman has hallucinations consisting of a dancing baby meant to remind her…
Freak Show Friday: The Emotional Roller Coaster that was the CMA Awards
Ya’ll. For the first time in years, I watched the CMA awards show live. Normally, I record the show and save it for the weekend because I tend to drink a little more than I should during the awards and I need that extra time on the weekends to recover. In fact, you may remember…
Freak Show Friday: 6 Signs You Had a Successful Redneck Staycation
For the second year in a row, we’ve been hurricaned out of our fall break vacation. We were supposed to spend part of the week in the Isle of Palms, our favorite beach just outside of Charleston and then a couple of days in Savannah, but Mother Nature said forget that. Instead, we hunkered down at…
Keeper of the Family History
*This post is sponsored by Legacybox, however all opinions and broadcasting of old family photos are 100% mine. Roughly ten years ago, I laid awake in bed worrying about what would become of all my old family photos and VHS tapes if my house burned down. I realize there were probably bigger things I should have…
How Jenna Got Her Groove Back
*This post is sponsored by thredUP, however all opinions and admittance of loosing my groove is 100% mine. Life changes after you have a kid. I realize that’s a total Captain Obvious statement there, but I think some of those life changes aren’t necessarily talked about enough. We all know you sleep less, worry more…
Freak Show Friday: We’re with the groom. Obviously.
If you didn’t read last week’s Freak Show Friday, then stop right now and read it. This week’s is a follow-up to last week’s. You see when southerners meet New York, you simply can’t fit it all into one freak show. Last week, I left off at when we had arrived in Rye, New York,…
Freak Show Friday: We barely made it here with shoes on.
The man of questionable honor got married last weekend. Carrie Bradshaw once said that people go to New York for two reasons: love and labels. Well, Brandon had a new job title waiting on him there and then he conveniently fell in love. He’s a NYC success story as well as a Tinder one. <—–…
Freak Show Friday: Moms and the City
I would not consider myself and my group of “mom friends” hip. This is nothing they wouldn’t agree to themselves, so don’t worry that I’m offending them. My mom friends and I, with the exception of one of us, have been friends since we were in elementary school. We go way back and after a…
Room to Breathe
I’m not always at my best. In fact, I’m probably not at my best half the time. On any given day – especially within the past month – there’s a good chance you could have found me in the corner of my closet or locked in the bathroom crying because it was all just too…
Freak Show Friday: If you’ll be our surrogate, I’ll buy you a pool.
There are few people in this world you make a connection with where nothing you say can phase them. You can call them an asshole and they won’t bat an eye, but they may laugh at you. You can say you’re jumping in the truck, getting the heck out of dodge and never coming back. Most…
