You’ve seen the Texts from Last Night thing, right? It’s a collection of texts that should have never been sent, but for our own entertainment, we’re so glad those people hit the send button.
Our group doesn’t have those texts. Instead, throughout the night I keep a running list in my phone of fantastic things that were said. Everyone is getting really good at it, because now as soon as something is said, someone will look at me and say, “Write that shit down!” to make sure I got it. Therefore, we have quotes from last night.
These quotes don’t necessarily fit into a topic of any sorts except the general heading of Funny Ass Shit.
The even funnier thing about them is that most were said when we weren’t even drinking. That’s right, our obscene talent is ingrained in us and no alcohol is even needed to bring it to the surface. Just put us all together and it naturally starts erupting.
Now, this first one, it wouldn’t have been near as funny if a female had said it.
I shit you not. Those words came from his mouth and he even waved his finger in the air as he said it.
Sometimes, we find ourselves thanking God for those unanswered prayers.
Thank ya Jesus for not making me Sandy. Here’s to all my fellow pink ladies.
Often, tough decisions have to be made.
Ours are always judged on the scale of pimpness.
We talk about people too. A lot. I mean, we did grow up in a small southern farm town, what the hell else are we supposed to do?
Now, if you’re from the South, you know good and well that statement right there explains the quirkiness of some people we’ve encountered. Don’t deny that shit.
booze spirit takes us over.
The wall humping may or may not have taken place during Aretha Franklin’s Freeway of Love. I mean what other song would you hump a wall to?
Also, you should expect further Quotes from Last Night installments.
Happy Freak Show Friday.