There comes a day in every mom’s life when you simply have to do what must be done.
You can no longer put it off. You can’t try to weasel your way out of it. You have to put on your best face and smile. Literally.
You have to get the freakin’ family photos made.
You have to find a photographer, book a date, find the right outfits, the right location and pray the weather cooperates. I mean, we are only one damn person and there are a hundred moving parts going into this single hour long photo session.
Yes, later on down the road you will be happy to have them. However, the current stress coming on due solely to attempting to find a pair of shoes the kid can wear that will match her outfit, but not clash with yours is completely ridiculous and doesn’t seem worth it by a long shot.
And we haven’t even talked about the actual damn photo session yet.
Oh no, no, no.
First off, is the weather ok? Clouds are preferred, but not rain clouds. Is the sun too harsh? That’s going to make everything too yellow if it is. And the wind. The damn wind. Will your hair end up sticking to your lipstick then smearing it straight across your face?
And then, it’s time to pose.
But how are you supposed to pose? Should your hand go here? No, maybe there? What about my chin? Is it raised too high? Not high enough? Is that my good side? Are you getting my good side? And for the love of God, stop picking your nose, child.
And smile! Everyone smile! Oh, wait, the kid isn’t smiling. Well, it’s a forced smile. That should work. Oh, she’s not looking at the camera either. Damn it.
And by the end of the session, you are just like, “One photo. One single photo. I just need one stinkin’ halfway decent photo for the Christmas cards.”
And do you get that one photo?
But you discover that just about any photo looks pretty decent when it’s turned black and white. So you turn that shit black and white and give yourself a virtual fist bump.
And sometimes, if you’re really lucky, I mean really, really lucky…
You get another photo that perfectly sums up that photo session and also provides laughs for all recipients of your Christmas cards.
Merry Christmas, fellow freaks.
The LaFevor clan wishes you nothing less than an amazing Christmas spent with dear ones and showers of blessings in 2018 – of the non-tinkle variety, of course.
I’ll see you back here in January!