Rain on a Tin Roof

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A shower of blessings…

There comes a day in every mom’s life when you simply have to do what must be done.

You can no longer put it off. You can’t try to weasel your way out of it. You have to put on your best face and smile. Literally.

You have to get the freakin’ family photos made.

You have to find a photographer, book a date, find the right outfits, the right location and pray the weather cooperates. I mean, we are only one damn person and there are a hundred moving parts going into this single hour long photo session.

WTF.

Yes, later on down the road you will be happy to have them. However, the current stress coming on due solely to attempting to find a pair of shoes the kid can wear that will match her outfit, but not clash with yours is completely ridiculous and doesn’t seem worth it by a long shot.

And we haven’t even talked about the actual damn photo session yet.

Oh no, no, no.

First off, is the weather ok? Clouds are preferred, but not rain clouds. Is the sun too harsh? That’s going to make everything too yellow if it is. And the wind. The damn wind. Will your hair end up sticking to your lipstick then smearing it straight across your face?

Most likely. 

And then, it’s time to pose.

But how are you supposed to pose? Should your hand go here? No, maybe there? What about my chin? Is it raised too high? Not high enough? Is that my good side? Are you getting my good side? And for the love of God, stop picking your nose, child.

And smile! Everyone smile! Oh, wait, the kid isn’t smiling. Well, it’s a forced smile. That should work. Oh, she’s not looking at the camera either. Damn it.

And by the end of the session, you are just like, “One photo. One single photo. I just need one stinkin’ halfway decent photo for the Christmas cards.”

And do you get that one photo?

Merry Christmas! We hope 2018 showers you with blessings.

Not really.

But you discover that just about any photo looks pretty decent when it’s turned black and white. So you turn that shit black and white and give yourself a virtual fist bump.

And sometimes, if you’re really lucky, I mean really, really lucky…

Merry Christmas! We hope 2018 showers you with blessings.

You get another photo that perfectly sums up that photo session and also provides laughs for all recipients of your Christmas cards.

Merry Christmas, fellow freaks.

The LaFevor clan wishes you nothing less than an amazing Christmas spent with dear ones and showers of blessings in 2018 – of the non-tinkle variety, of course.

I’ll see you back here in January!

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Comments

  4. Well Jenna – you’ve done it again – a real belly laugh outta this old gal at 7:41 in the morning. What a way to start the day.

    As always thanks for being as candid as you are and touching all us readers in a sometimes twisted way.

    Have a happy holiday.

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  5. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! THE BEST I’ve seen!
    It’s so refreshing to read your “stories” – and so glad you put in writing what all of us moms are thinking (or have thought) at one time or another. You’re rockin’ it … REPRESENT Jenna!

    A Very Merry Christmas to you and yours!

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  9. I love both, so fun and your post is super fun too. Oh how I remember those days. I wish you Health, Happiness and tons of Blessings for Christmas and the New Year.

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  12. I think the photos are perfect in the most “nonperfect way”!!! Haha! Just the way we all all made in God’s perfect image in an imperfect way. Thanks for the laugh! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

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  14. I love them both and now I have to get my husband out for this holiday photo/ We have not done one in years. Need a new picture anyway for us. Take care and Merry Christmas.

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  16. Mercy me!! I’m sure glad I didn’t have a mouthful of anything when I saw that last picture!!! My computer would have been toast!!! Epic picture…no other words for it, epic! These are the moments in life that you remember forever (and ever and ever on the internet, into eternity). May I please post this on my Facebook page?? It is absolutely the BEST family picture I have EVER seen! Otherwise, I’ll just have to save it to my favorite pictures 🙂 I can even fuzz the faces (y’all, not the cow) so no one will ever know it is you…but seriously y’all took a great picture there (and the cow looks happy too…at least the one in front). I hope your Christmas is filled with the love of family and friends and just enough “WHAT??!!” to make it memorable!!

    P.S. At least they weren’t making whoopie back there!!

    Reply

    • Hey Susan! So sorry I’m so late in responding to this! I took a long holiday break! That picture is priceless for sure! It might be too late, but you can of course share it on your Facebook page!

      Reply

  17. Hahahaha Love it!!! Between the cow, and noses being picked we have all been there! So PERFECT! 🙂 Merry Christmas!!!

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  18. If you kick ass like this for a photo (and by kicking ass I mean rounding up chaos and describing it with bad words beautifully) then I can’t imagine how badass your holiday letter could be. I used to write the best ones. Equal parts offensive and funny, I think.

    Great stuff here. See you more in 2018.

    Reply

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